While in the middle of a heated argument, it’s hard to see or hear anything but that your partner is totally in the wrong. You must do everything you can to defend your position, stand your ground and get them to admit you’re right! But what happens if we slow down and take a deeper look? You may be shocked to learn that behind every complaint, there is a longing; within every conflict, each person has not just a position but a dream. In couples therapy, understanding the dreams within the conflict, the longing behind the complaints, is crucial for fostering deeper connection, empathy, and resolution between partners.
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Couples TherapyWhat About the Longing? – The Importance of Finding the Dreams within Conflict
Couples TherapyAvoid These 2 Defensive Behaviors and Powerfully Transform Your Relationships
Blog, Couples TherapyBy Tara Rullo, LCSW
Defensiveness is lethal to relationships.
As a relationship therapist, I am trained to be on the lookout for defensive reactions when I’m working with couples. Longitudinal studies by Dr. John Gottman have shown that defensiveness is one of the predictors of divorce.Leave Defensive Reactions Behind and Learn Solutions to the 2 Most Common Barriers to Constructive Conflict
Blog, Couples TherapyBy Tara Rullo, LCSW
What is the defensiveness trap?
Defensiveness escalates conflict, but many people still get trapped in a pattern of reacting defensively in conflict. This is what I call the defensiveness trap. Longitudinal research conducted by the founder of Gottman Couples Therapy, Dr. John Gottman, shows that over time, defensiveness kills relationships.Building a Strong Foundation: Pre-Commitment Counseling with Gottman Couples Therapy
Blog, Couples TherapyBy Tara Rullo, LCSW
The journey of committing to a life partner is a beautiful and meaningful one, but it is not without its challenges. For couples looking to ensure a strong and lasting bond, pre-commitment counseling can be an invaluable tool which can help couples build a solid foundation for a lifetime of connection and good communication!Mind-Body Disconnect in the Digital Age: Understanding and Enhancing Interoceptive Awareness for Better Health
BlogBy Tara Rullo, LCSW
The concept of interoception, the sense that helps us understand and feel what's going on inside our bodies, is crucial to our overall well-being and health. However, in our modern, tech-driven society, there is a distinct lack of emphasis on bodily awareness and the importance of listening to the messages our bodies send. This cultural oversight can lead to widespread interoception difficulties among individuals who do not have any specific medical condition or diagnosis.Effective Conflict Resolution: The Body-Mind Approach in Gottman Couples Therapy
BlogBy Tara Rullo, LCSW
Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, be it a new relationship or a long-standing partnership. How couples navigate these conflicts plays a pivotal role in determining the health and longevity of the relationship. Gottman couples therapy is a groundbreaking approach to couples therapy that focuses on effective conflict resolution and is distinguished by its holistic "body-mind" approach to helping couples turn conflict into connection.Daring to Disappoint: The Art of Embracing Your True Self
BlogBy Tara Rullo, LCSW
In a world that expects us to conform to standards and meet the expectations of others, daring to disappoint can be a revolutionary act of self-discovery and authenticity. The journey of embracing your true self and defying societal, familial and social pressures is not only empowering but also liberating.Discover Healing Through Somatic Therapy: Reclaim Your Body, Reclaim Your Life
Blog, Trauma TherapyBy Tara Rullo, LCSW
Somatic therapy is a treatment approach that recognizes the mind-body connection and focuses on the experiences of the body, sensations, and movement to promote emotional healing and overall well-being. In the context of trauma, somatic therapy can be particularly effective because trauma often manifests not only as psychological symptoms but also as physical sensations and tensions in the body. Here's how somatic therapy helps trauma survivors: