Are You Ready To Stop Feeling Guilty After Divorce

Are You Ready to Stop Feeling Guilty After Divorce?

Guilt is a heavy feeling that can arise from specific actions you regret or as a persistent, lingering mist that seeps into every aspect of your life. It often feels like a shadow constantly looming over your shoulder, causing you to doubt your choices, your character, and your future. For many divorced people, guilt becomes a constant companion in life after the end of a marriage. It can arise from worries about the well-being of children, the impact of the divorce on family and friends, the financial challenges that often accompany divorce, and even the emotional experiences of their ex-partner.
What About the Longing? - The Importance of Finding the Dreams within Conflict

What About the Longing? – The Importance of Finding the Dreams within Conflict

While in the middle of a heated argument, it’s hard to see or hear anything but that your partner is totally in the wrong. You must do everything you can to defend your position, stand your ground and get them to admit you’re right! But what happens if we slow down and take a deeper look? You may be shocked to learn that behind every complaint, there is a longing; within every conflict, each person has not just a position but a dream. In couples therapy, understanding the dreams within the conflict, the longing behind the complaints, is crucial for fostering deeper connection, empathy, and resolution between partners.
Avoid These 2 Defensive Behaviors and Powerfully Transform Your Relationships

Avoid These 2 Defensive Behaviors and Powerfully Transform Your Relationships

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By Tara Rullo, LCSW

Defensiveness is lethal to relationships.

As a relationship therapist, I am trained to be on the lookout for defensive reactions when I’m working with couples. Longitudinal studies by Dr. John Gottman have shown that defensiveness is one of the predictors of divorce.
Leave Defensive Reactions Behind and Learn Solutions to the 2 Most Common Barriers to Constructive Conflict

Leave Defensive Reactions Behind and Learn Solutions to the 2 Most Common Barriers to Constructive Conflict

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By Tara Rullo, LCSW

What is the defensiveness trap?

Defensiveness escalates conflict, but many people still get trapped in a pattern of reacting defensively in conflict. This is what I call the defensiveness trap. Longitudinal research conducted by the founder of Gottman Couples Therapy, Dr. John Gottman, shows that over time, defensiveness kills relationships.
Building a Strong Foundation: Pre-Commitment Counseling with Gottman Couples Therapy

Building a Strong Foundation: Pre-Commitment Counseling with Gottman Couples Therapy

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By Tara Rullo, LCSW

The journey of committing to a life partner is a beautiful and meaningful one, but it is not without its challenges. For couples looking to ensure a strong and lasting bond, pre-commitment counseling can be an invaluable tool which can help couples build a solid foundation for a lifetime of connection and good communication!
My Partner Won T Go To Couples Therapy

Help! My Partner won’t go to Couples Therapy

By Tara Rullo, LCSW

When your marriage or romantic partnership is strained, distant, or full of conflict, it’s common to feel anxious and alone. Even when physically together, partners in troubled relationships may feel emotionally disconnected or isolated from each other. Arguments with your significant other can become repetitive and cyclical — and it’s hard to know how to break out of unhealthy patterns, even when you want to. Ongoing unresolved issues usually lead to feelings of frustration and a sense of helplessness with more and more unresolved complaints building up into a pile of resentments.
Improve Your Relationship

What can you do to Improve your Relationship?

By Tara Rullo, LCSW

We all have a level of intellect, logical reasoning and comprehension which we call IQ. More people are developing an understanding of the importance of EQ – emotional intelligence – which is the ability to understand and communicate about our own feelings as well as the feelings of others. But are you aware of a third level of awareness – RQ – relationship intelligence?
Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

Breaking the Destructive Cycle: Conquering the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships

By Tara Rullo, LCSW

In relationships, conflict and disagreements are inevitable. However, certain negative communication patterns can become so destructive that they erode the very foundation of a partnership. Dr. John Gottman, renowned psychologist and relationship expert, identified these harmful behaviors as the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."
Gottman Couples Therapy

Building Stronger Connections: The Power of Gottman Couples Therapy

By Tara Rullo, LCSW

There are countless approaches and techniques designed to help couples navigate the challenges that come with committed relationships. One particularly effective and research-backed method is Gottman Couples Therapy. Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach focuses on strengthening the friendship, deepening emotional connection, and enhancing intimacy between partners. Let’s explore some key principles of Gottman Couples Therapy, shedding light on why it has become a widely acclaimed approach for relationship enrichment.
How to Deeply Listen to Your Partner Complain About You… and Why You Should Get Good at This!

How to Deeply Listen to Your Partner Complain About You… and Why You Should Get Good at This!

By Tara Rullo, LCSW

One of the hardest things to do in any relationship is to take in negative feedback. If it is our spouse or partner who is giving us feedback, especially if the feedback contains a complaint, we often react with defensiveness. While defensiveness is a natural response, it is one we must train ourselves out of if we want to create a safe environment for communication.