How to Stop Ruminating and Fall Asleep: 2 Mindful Tools to Usher in Relaxation and Sleep

By Tara Rullo, LCSW

How did you sleep last night? If you’re one of the lucky ones who hit the pillow and slept through the night, you know how great it feels to awake, rested and energized, ready to tackle your day.

But data shows that almost 15% of U.S. adults have trouble falling asleep and 19% of the U.S. population had trouble maintaining sleep, both indicators of insomnia. Rumination may play an important role in insomnia. A Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine article reports that sleep difficulties and rumination often go hand in hand and goes on to state:

“This negatively toned mental activity usually focuses on worries about not getting enough sleep and whether it will be possible to function adequately during the following day while suffering from daytime symptoms of insomnia (e.g., fatigue, disturbed mood, concentration difficulties). Such repetitive thought can perpetuate further emotional arousal, and this cycle is thought to perpetuate insomnia.”

I need to let you in on a secret: I’ve been blessed with the superpower of sleep. My family used to joke that I could fall asleep just about anywhere — upright, in the passenger seat of a car, tucked in a cozy couch corner, or even perched in a wingback chair. Back in college, library study sessions were more often nap sessions, with me snoozing over an open book, my head resting on my folded arms. Ahhh… I’m yawning just remembering those dreamy library naps.

But here’s the thing — I do periodically struggle with insomnia, which for me tends to present as feeling tired but being unable to fall asleep. I know the frustration of staring at the ceiling at 3 a.m. with thoughts cycling in my mind. And when it happens to me? I’m shocked, panicked, and horrified.

My thoughts tend to turn dark quickly:

How could my own body betray me like this? Why can’t my tired body just sleep already? Okay, let me just try to stop thinking. It didn’t work! I’ll be a wreck tomorrow. What if this happens again tomorrow night? I’m not going to be okay. Everything is coming apart at the seams!

Then, the next day, I’m that person dramatically recounting my sleepless saga to anyone who’ll listen, as if I’ve lived through some sort of unique, epic ordeal. “Can you believe it? I didn’t fall asleep until 3 am!” I’ll exclaim, expecting shock and sympathy in response.

Most people look at me blankly when they hear my complaint. “Yeah, that happens to me all the time.” Is a common response.

What to Do When Insomnia Strikes

When our minds are abuzz with thoughts, our bodies respond in kind, becoming restless and tense, which only makes the task of falling asleep more challenging. The irony is that the more we try to fight these buzzing thoughts, the more distracting they become. It’s like being caught in a mental tug-of-war, where the struggle itself keeps you awake.

In such situations, a different approach is needed — one that involves giving your mind a constructive task.

Here are two mindful tools that focus on engaging your mind in a gentle, non-stressful activity. To combat insomnia, we must redirect our mental energy, and gradually ease the mind into a state of relaxation, aligning it with the body’s readiness to sleep.

I highly recommend practicing these exercises a few times before you try them out on a sleepless night in order to gain fluidity with them in a less stressful moment.

#1: Present Moment Awareness

Present moment awareness means observing yourself doing whatever you are doing in the moment. You might be asking, “Isn’t observing myself tossing and turning, unable to sleep, just going to stress me out more?”

It’s a valid concern. However, simply observing these restless moments will be less stressful than the internal monologues we often engage in which usually veer towards self-judgment, shame, blame, or even predicting doom and gloom.

Shifting from these negative narratives to just noticing — “I’m awake, my mind is active” — can actually be a more calming and less emotionally charged approach.

How to Practice Present Moment Awareness

Ideally, practice this exercise lying down. Close your eyes or gently lower your gaze. Start to connect with the feeling of the couch, mattress or floor beneath your body.
Notice any areas of your body that feel comfortable, peaceful or cozy. Now bring your attention to your breath. Start to notice the breath entering your body on the inhale, and leaving your body on the exhale.

Simply observing.
And breathing.
And noticing.
If you started this exercise with a restless mind, your mind is likely still busy. There is no need to try to stop your thoughts. Simply notice the thoughts, just as you notice your breathing.
Noticing any thoughts.
Simply observing, I am thinking.
And noticing your breath, I am breathing.

Now start counting, very slowly, to ten. As you say the numbers in your head also visualize the number and observe yourself counting.

One: I am visualizing the number one
Two: I am visualizing the number two
Continue counting and visualizing until you get to the number ten.

Now return to observing your breath without judgment, just noticing. Observe your mental state. If your mind is still busy, simply observe: My thoughts are coming fast, I notice my thoughts are coming fast.

Even if your mind is still very active, after this exercise, the emotional intensity of the moment will likely be reduced.

#2 The Long Hallway

The Long Hallway is a guided visualization exercise aimed at relieving stress, worries, and overwhelming thoughts. This exercise offers a tangible way to visualize and actively engage in letting go of mental burdens that may be keeping you awake.

How to Practice the Long Hallway Exercise

In a reclined position, close your eyes or gently lower your gaze. Start to connect with the feeling of the couch, mattress or floor beneath your body. Notice any areas of your body that feel comfortable, peaceful or cozy.

Imagine yourself standing at the beginning of a long, peaceful hallway.

This hallway is safe and comforting, filled with a soft, warm light.

Notice the details of this space — the texture of the walls, the gentle lighting, the feeling underfoot.

With each breath, feel yourself becoming more relaxed and more present in this imagined place. Start walking slowly down the hallway. The pace is unhurried and calm, matching the rhythm of your breathing.

As you walk, notice the doors lining either side of the hallway.

Think of a worry or a troubling thought you’re carrying with you now. As you continue your slow walk down the hallway, choose a door that feels right to you. Stand in front of it and hold the thought or worry in your mind. Acknowledge its presence, but understand that you don’t need to keep carrying it with you.

When you’re ready, open the door and gently place the worry or thought inside the room.

You might visualize it as a physical object, a written note, or simply a cloud of color. Once you have placed it inside, close the door softly but firmly.

Feel the lightness in your spirit as you walk away from the door. Notice how your steps might feel a bit easier, your breathing a bit deeper.

As you continue down the hallway, repeat this process with any other worries or thoughts that you want to leave behind. Take your time, there’s no rush.

When you reach the end of the hallway, take a moment to acknowledge the act of letting go you’ve just completed. Breathe in deeply, absorbing the peace and quiet of the hallway, and breathe out any residual tension.

At the end of this exercise, you will feel a sense of release and tranquility. This act of symbolically leaving your worries behind in the hallway allows your mind to untangle from the web of thoughts that have been keeping you awake.

What if I am still awake after trying these exercises?

Even if sleep doesn’t immediately follow a mindfulness exercise, the relaxation and peace of mind it brings can be deeply restorative.

By engaging in mindfulness, you lower your stress levels and calm your nervous system.

This relaxation response is beneficial in itself, as it counteracts the negative effects of stress on your body and mind. In a relaxed state, your heart rate slows, your blood pressure lowers, and your body begins to recover and repair itself — all processes that are beneficial whether or not they lead to sleep.

Take a Big Picture Approach to Improving Your Sleep

When it comes to getting better sleep, it helps to think about the big picture instead of just whether you fell asleep faster last night. Building a habit of mindfulness at bedtime will make a difference in your quality and quantity of sleep in the long run. Over time, as you keep up with mindfulness, your body and mind start getting the memo that bedtime is for unwinding and relaxing. This can lead to better sleep in the long haul, and not just one-off good nights.